Filed under Business …

Apr 17 2012
1 Comment
Business, Family, Just for Fun, Me, Myself and I, My Boys, Parenting, Sports, Vacation

Everyday He’s Shufflin’: While You Were Out, Spring Break Edition

Ever since he was en utero, DJ has loved to dance. After seven years of saying we should enroll him in a dance class, we finally put him in hip hop and breakdancing last fall. As I saw him on stage at his recital in December, cheesin’ and basking in the spotlight as he popped, locked, glided and B-boy’d across the stage, I was struck hard – deep in my chest – with a feeling I’ve never felt before; one that’s hard to explain. I became acutely aware of and physically plugged into just how happy he was.

After his recital, I ran into his hip hop teacher backstage and, choking back tears, thanked her for helping him find that happiness. I’m certain she thinks I’m crazy, but it’s really hard to describe that feeling of seeing your child personify passion in such a way for the first time.

Fast-forward a few weeks. We had been toying with the idea of redoing DJ’s bedroom for some time. It was themed after his favorite movie as a toddler, Cars. Four years, one sequel and leap into the “tween” phase later, it seemed that we were nearing the time when we should stop talking and start acting.

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A few quick Google searches later and I realized I could buy him a small dance floor that he could practice on, maybe a mirror to watch his technique and, perhaps, some cool art for the walls. Then Scoot remembered a show he’d seen at a local art school where an interior designer had a hip hop-style room on display. He went to the school and inquired about the designer who has since graduated. Less than a day later, I was on the phone with Dee asking if she had any interest in designing a bedroom for an eight-year-old aspiring B-boy. She leapt at the chance.

I thought hiring an interior designer was something only rich people could do, but I quickly figured out that A.) It wasn’t nearly as expensive as I expected it to be; B.) She had a lot of creative ideas for materials and execution that saved us money; and C.) The results would end up being so much better than anything we could have come up with on our own.

We went away for spring break and came back to this (sorry, I had to pixelate some of the pictures to blur their names so you can’t really see the full effect of the graffiti):

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I think he likes it…

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*** If anyone in the Sacramento region needs an interior designer, I HIGHLY recommend Dee. She’s creative, professional, courteous and flexible. Her portfolio includes all sorts of styles, room types, sizes, etc. If you give her a call, tell her Emmie sent you. I didn’t get anything for saying this…it’s just a heart-felt endorsement of her work from a very satisfied client. ***

Tagged , , , ,
Feb 08 2012
1 Comment
Business, Child Care, Elementary School, Family, Food, Lemons, Marriage, Me, Myself and I, My Boys, Parenting, Work

The Working Mom’s Guide to Business Travel: 10 Tips and Tricks to Keep You and Your Family Sane While You’re Away

January was a busy month of business travel for me. With three business trips in as many weeks (two of which were cross-country) as well as three separate trips (one for all of us, two others for Scoot) to the Bay, it would have been easy for any one of the four of us to have a complete meltdown. I was pleasantly surprised with how well it went. Though most of the credit goes to having a more-than-capable husband willing and able to stand in for me while I’m away and my dad who pinched hit for a couple days while we were both away, I also like to think that the tricks I’ve developed over the years have helped make my absence less burdensome to Scoot and the boys. In the hopes of helping others relieve some of the stress (and, perhaps, guilt) that come with being a traveling working mom, I thought I’d share my experiences.

  1. Plan ahead. While Scoot is responsible for cooking meals most weeknights anyway, I usually develop a weekly meal plan that he follows so he doesn’t have to think about what he should make and we’re sure to have everything he needs in the fridge/pantry. Before I leave for a trip, I write out the meals for the week and, if appropriate, where to find the recipes and post them on the fridge. Anything that is out of the ordinary such as snack day, fundraisers due, etc. are dealt with ahead of time to minimize the number of things he has to remember in my absence. We let the boys get hot lunch or have a Lunchables (I know, not the greatest nutritional options but the vast majority of the boys’ lunches are quite well-rounded and health-conscious) to make getting out in the mornings as easy as possible.
  2. Do ahead. When I leave, I try to have the first day’s meal in the crockpot and the first day’s lunches made. I double-check to make sure all the bills are paid so neither of us has to worry about that while I’m away. I hate coming home to a messy house and a sink full of dishes but I understand how hard it is to find time for cleaning during a busy week. I’ve found that the cleaner I leave the house, the cleaner it’s likely to be upon my return. Think beyond the day of your return as well. Planning the day after my return keeps me from having to be “on” as soon as I get home. (See also, #10.)
  3. Keep a routine. Having mom gone can be disruptive so keeping a routine for the boys is important. We do whatever we can to keep their before and after school routines as normal as possible. Scoot, DJ and I share a Google calendar and I put everything (basketball practices, dress-up days at school, library book due dates, etc.) on there so all three of us know what’s supposed to happen on each day. I also make sure to tell the boys’ teachers/daycare workers that I’ll be gone so they can adapt to funky moods or the need for a little extra TLC (this was especially true when they were in daycare/preschool).
  4. Allow for fun. My mom didn’t travel much for work but the times that she did were great fun for me and my dad. I have fond memories of going to St. Louis Cardinals games at Busch Stadium on *gasp!* weeknights while my mom was off at her conferences (there’s no way would that ever fly if she were home). Though I don’t want to break the bank or get the boys’ routines out of whack, I generally encourage some special “Mom is gone, let’s go crazy” activities like a trip to the ice cream shop or a special dinner out. This extends past my return as well. If at all possible, I try to make sure Scoot gets some down time when I get home so that he can unwind without the boys too.
  5. Plan travel around your family. Sometimes meeting times, flight costs and schedules, and company policies dictate what times and days I travel. But if I can leave after morning drop-off (Scoot does pick-up anyway) or get back in time for dinner and bedtime routines, those extra few hours of being able to provide my regular contribution to our family’s day are incredibly helpful. Not to mention the fact that each extra day of added care for the boys costs $32. If I can at all make it work, I try to schedule my trips so that I leave and return while they’re at school.
  6. Pack fast and light. Even my dog gets stressed out when I bring out a suitcase and spend hours debating what to put in it. Dragging out my preparation just rubs my boys’ noses in the fact I’ll be leaving them so I try to pack either after they’re in bed or when they’re off at school right before I leave. Even when I was away for an entire week, I packed in a carry-on so I could get off the plane and into my car to get home to them as quickly as possible. I find little worse than being “home” but delaying my arrival home for 30 minutes or more while standing around waiting for luggage.
  7. Stay in touch. Technology is a godsend for the traveling mom. Even on a regular day, Scoot and I are in frequent communication with each other about home life. Being available (when I’m not working or in meetings) to answer quick questions like, “Where are Bop’s basketball shoes?” or being kept abreast of the days’ developments like, “DJ forgot his homework,” help me feel connected and relieve a bit of the pressure on Scoot to keep track of absolutely everything under the sun. Ever since DJ’s gotten his iPod, I’ve used email to send him little notes, letting him know I miss him and am thinking about him and sending little reminders. Bop has discovered Facetime on Scoot’s phone and he LOVES talking to me and making funny faces through it. I’m grateful that it’s so much easier to stay connected than it was a generation ago.
  8. Get rewarded. I’ve signed up for a handful of relevant loyalty programs (airline miles, hotel points, etc.) and take advantage of my travel in order to accrue points that I use for family vacations. I maximize my earning potential by trying to travel on one of two airlines and earn my points wherever I can. (For example, you can usually opt for airline miles instead of or in addition to hotel points at most hotels). I use programs like Star Alliance to focus on accruing on US Air even while traveling on United. Similarly, because I have to use a personal card and get reimbursed for travel expenses, I signed up a Chase Disney Rewards Visa that accrues points that convert to Disney dollars. On our last trip to DisneyWorld we had $600 worth of Disney dollars accrued that we used for food, souvenirs, hotel and tickets. My philosophy is if I have to travel for work, the least I can do is figure out ways for the boys to benefit from it (besides, you know, the whole paycheck thing. Heh.)
  9. Take care of yourself. Traveling is hard on the body. When I travel for work, many of the factors most important to feeling good are out of my control. But I try my best to eat well (including lots of fiber and lots of water), take my vitamins, get sleep, etc. Sure socializing with coworkers, clients or business associates can be fun and sometimes required, but late nights out – especially those that involved drinking – can take their toll. I try to take advantage of the peace and quiet that come with being alone in a hotel by reading, watching a TV show or movie that I’ve wanted to see and – by far the best part of business travel – sleeping diagonally across the bed.
  10. Celebrate your return. I make sure the boys know when I’m coming home (with the always fun caveat that sometimes things happen and flights get delayed) and I make plans with them for the special things we’re going to do when I return. I pick them up from school (rather than having them go to after school care), take them to lunch or dinner or ice cream, or just get in bed and snuggle with them. Being back together again is certainly cause to celebrate.

So that’s it. I hope some of these tips help relieve the stress and guilt that can accompany a business trip when you’re a wife and mom. What about you? What do you do to make sure everyone survives when you’re from home?

Oct 07 2010
3 Comments
Blogging, Business, Me, Myself and I, Politics, Work

Mah Smahrts Iz Showing

I’ve been super busy at work, which is a really good thing given this economy. In addition to the stuff I do for my clients, however, I’ve also been spearheading a project to get my whole office involved in blogging and tweeting about the Elections we have coming up in California. This is in coordination with a project that we’re running out of our DC office where some of my very smart colleagues are keeping up on all sorts of races around the country that people will care about.

So, since you’re my very best friend in the whole wide world (you are, right?), I thought you might be interesting in following this fun little project.

Here’s where we’re tweeting: @CalVoteImpact

Here’s where we blog: Virtual Vantage Points

And here is my first post: Boxer v. Fiorina: Five Trends to Watch

I hope to see you over there and please excuse me if I’m not hanging out wherever you’re used to seeing me. It takes a whole lot of brainpower to keep from accidentally tweeting about my kids’ ear infections and silly sayings from my work account, ifyaknowwhatimean.

Feb 23 2010
9 Comments
Business, Me, Myself and I, Work

Expectations and Fear of Failure

I frequently joke with my boss that I like to keep expectations low so I can blow right past them. Though that’s usually how things shake out, the truth is that I often keep expectations low because I have no confidence that I will succeed. Sometimes this self-doubt is well-founded. Other times it’s ridiculous. I know this conceptually, but the only way I can prove to myself that I’m capable of accomplishing something new, is by doing it.

Part of my problem, and many of you already know this, is that I don’t take myself very seriously. Much of this has to do with my personality. I’m easy-going, hard to fluster and I like to joke around. But some of my inability to take myself seriously comes from my belief that there is very little that should be taken all that seriously. Life and death are serious. Abuse and neglect are serious. War and peace are serious. But all the little things we so easily get wrapped up in every day…well, I just don’t believe that most of them are all that serious. When it comes to our professional lives, I learned part of this lesson from my dad who told me in my first year of my career that people, especially young people, always overvalue themselves. They take themselves much too seriously.

The fact that I don’t take myself all that seriously is frustrating to some people, none more so than me. I put countless hours into my studies, spent $60,000 on my graduate education (the first $268.41 per month I earn for the next 2o years goes straight to grad school loans) and spent the last nine years of my life learning, thinking, talking and strategizing about health care policy. I really should act like I know what I’m talking about. Because I really do. Don’t I?

Well, last week I was put to the test in a public forum for the first time. I was invited to sit on a panel about health care reform and was asked specifically to talk about it from a federal perspective as well as the perspective of the drug industry, for whom I’ve worked in various capacities for my entire career. I wasn’t, however, speaking as a spokesperson for a client. I was just me. I was there to state my analysis and my opinions.

A funny thing happened on the way to that forum. Well, not on the way, but about a third of the way through. Ends up, I kind of felt good talking about this issue. I’m sure there were plenty of ums and uhs and the like, but I actually knew what I was talking about. No one was more surprised than I was.

Afterwards a number of people came up to me and commented that I’d done a good job. They asked for my card so they could give them to their newsroom folks (most of the audience members were in radio and television ad sales) in case a story came up and they needed someone to interview. I obliged, honestly thinking that nothing would come of it.

Yesterday morning, however, I was called by a radio producer and asked to comment on President Obama’s most recent health care proposal. Live. On. The. Air. Now, there are people who do this kind of thing all the time but let’s be honest: I am not one of them. I’d been in a client meeting all day. I hadn’t even read Obama’s proposal. I’m not like others who have gone line-by-line through every bill. I didn’t get called to the White House to discuss the issue. What on Earth am I going to say?

So I read about his proposal, wrote out a few talking points and called the producer at the agreed upon time. When I went on air I was nervous. But after the first question, again about a third of the way through, I realized that I might maybe know what I’m talking about again. Maybe. I asked Scoot what he thought and he said I stumbled a little on words like um and uh but that I sounded good. I was pretty sure that he was bound to say that by our wedding vows (I think that line is right after “to love and to cherish” and right before “no, you don’t look fat.”) but a colleague had heard it and said the same thing. He sent around a link to the interview.

The first thing I thought was, “OH MAH GAWD! I sound 12.” Which is true. And depressing. But true nonetheless.

The second thing I thought was “You know what? I sort of sound like I know what I’m talking about.” A much happier thought to be sure.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. I am not all high on myself about this performance. I stumbled, I sounded nervous, I did a whole host of things that I’d advise clients against. But the thing is…I did it.

Twenty years from now, I’ll look back at this and think, “Gosh I’m embarassed I made such a big deal out of such a soft-ball, easy interview.” But today, for me right now, at this point in my life, at this point in my career, it was just what I needed to remind myself that sometimes I can drop the low expectations, put myself out there a bit more and maybe, just maybe, not make a complete fool of myself.

Apr 23 2009
3 Comments
Business, Facebook, Fashion, Friends, Me, Myself and I

Can We Have Take Your Classmate to Work Day?

I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about Facebook, questioning why in the world they’d want to be in touch with their entire high school class and I understand why some folks would say that. But I see it differently.

Facebook has allowed me to not only reminesce with the people I grew up with but to see what interesting people they’ve become as adults. I have to say, I’m pretty proud to have known so many awesome people. Many of them are doing really cool things. Below, I highlight three women I grew up with who have started their own businesses following their passions.

Live in San Francisco and own a dog? Then you should get to know Fetch in the City. FITC is run by my best friend from junior high, Jessey. She offers play groups for dogs as well as customized pet sitting. Her playgroups, which have a maximum of eight dogs each, get their fitcexercise off-leash at Fort Funston. Anyone who knows Jessey knows she has a passion for animals. She nearly got me killed riding a horse once (ok, not killed…we were in a ring and the horse was barely trotting but it scared the snot out of me anyway), but I still love her.

sweet-buds-floralJessey and I both were soccer players throughout high school and a teammate of ours, Naomi, is also running her own business in San Francisco. Sweet Buds Floral designs beautiful bouquets of flowers and delivers anywhere in San Francisco for $13. They also deliver for weddings and events throughout the Bay Area and into wine country. Definitely not your run-of-the-mill carnations, these designs are breathtaking. Order your Mother’s Day bouquet today!

In addition to beautiful flowers, what better gift for mom than a way to stay fashionable while smocksshe’s serving as the hostess at her dinner party? Look no further than Smocks Design. When having company over, no one wants to ruin their good clothes while preparing dinner, but aprons can be so blah. Kelley, who I went to elementary, junior high and high school with, and her mom have you covered…literally. When Page Six Magazine decided to cut back to publishing quarterly, Kelley, who served as the mag’s fashion editor, went to work on creating her own company which promotes “the art of entertaining” by bringing high fashion to the apron-wearing set. They purchase remnant fabric from designers, so not only is the cut stylish and flattering, the fabric is too. While Kelley’s not kicking off new business ventures, she and her mom also search for style and substance together on their blog, Cuts on the Bias. It’s a daily read on my netvibes page.

I admire all three of these women for taking risks and following their passions. Go check out what they have to offer and I’m sure you will come to admire them too.

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