Posted in July 2010 …

Jul 28 2010
11 Comments
Blogging, Lemons, Me, Myself and I

I’m Just Going to Get My Bitchiness Out of the Way

Last year, I did the obligatory I wear flip flops all day/I have weird habits like brushing my teeth all the dang time/Squee!!! BlogHer!!! Post. Since then, my nickname hasn’t changed, nor has my affinity for comfy footwear and the occasional high heels. Therefore I thought I’d just get down to what you all really want to know…what makes me turn bitchy.

Generally speaking, I’m a pretty chipper person. I definitely see the cup half full and I’m always looking for silver linings. HOWEVER, there are a few things that will make me not so pleased…

  1. I broke my shin playing soccer when I was 16. I was in a full-leg cast for a few weeks, then a cast up to my knee for another couple of months. It sucked. It especially sucked because I was told after the cast was off that I had to have surgery to rebreak my leg and insert a metal rod and a few screws to straighten it out. When I had that surgery later in the fall, something screwy happened and that muscle that runs along my shin now sticks out like a golf ball when it’s flexed. Because of this I wear pants or jeans a lot – even in the 100 degree heat here in Sacramento. If you see me in jeans, please don’t ask me if I’m hot. Yes, I’m hot. It’s New York in August and I’m in jeans. A few years ago I got up the nerve to start wearing skirts. And then the “OMG, what happened to your leg?” comments started. Don’t do that. I don’t like it. I’ll be nice about it. I’ll be cordial. I promise I won’t go off on you.  (See #2) But it will annoy me. And to answer your questions: No I didn’t sue the doctor, I’m not even sure if he did something wrong or if this was going to happen no matter what. No, it doesn’t hurt. Yes, you can feel it (it’s squishy) but only if you don’t say, “Ewww” or, “That’s so weird” or, “Oh my gawd” afterwards which is basically the same thing as me saying No, you can’t feel it. Yes/No/I don’t know if it’s fixable. If it is – which is a big if, it isn’t medically necessary so insurance won’t pay for it and I can’t really envision a time in my life when I would ever prioritize getting my leg fixed over something like a diamond ring or an awesome vacation with my kids or a boob job (yeah, I said it, I nursed two kids for more than a year each…I could use a pick-me-up). If you’d like to pay for it, however, I’d happily accept your donation. :D No, you can’t dry hump it. Yes, I was (jokingly, of course) asked this question before. Yes, I gave the person who asked it the same answer. No, you won’t be getting special treatment.
  2. When DJ or B-Bop come to us to tattle, they always, ALWAYS hear the same thing from me and Scoot: “You worry about you.” We say this because we firmly believe that there will always be people in their lives whose actions and reactions they cannot control. This is the same with us adults too. The only thing we have any control over is how we react to a situation. If you want to complain about cliques and drama and parties and swag, please know that I don’t particularly want to hear it. I’ll listen if you need to vent (I’m not a total bitch), but I won’t be as upset about it as you are and it might get old to me after a not-so-long while. If you want to ruin your trip to one of the most expensive, interesting, beautiful cities in the world by worrying about other people, feel free. I, on the other hand, will be worrying about me. I will be with people who I want to be with (including, sometimes spending time by myself…see #3), doing what I want to do and having a blast. This is my general approach to life and it’s served me well so far, so I’m just going to stick with it.
  3. You have no control over this, but my super good attitude woohoo approach to life tends to expire after 3 days away from home. It’s no one’s fault. It’s just how I am. I leave home on Tuesday, I get home late Monday. You do the math.  I’m going to try real hard to not turn into a royal bitch by Saturday but if I decide to just have some chill time by myself, please know it’s not you, it’s me. I promise you I’m not shunning you forever. I’m probably on the phone with my boys or taking a nap or wandering around the hotel by myself. It’s ok. We’ll both be ok. I promise chipper me will be back momentarily so just carry on and I’ll let you know when she is.
  4. I get overtired. I need sleep and a lot of it. I do best with 8 hours a night. On weekends I add a nap to that mix. If I don’t get my 8 hours, everything listed above will be exacerbated. I do have control over this. I will do my best to prevent this, but it’s probably inevitable. Nothing that a good nap won’t fix, though.

I think I’ll just stop before you think I’m a very big bitch. I promise you, I’m not. 99.9% of you that I meet will not encounter bitchy Emmie at all while we’re in New York. But for the .1% of you who might maybe might (you know who you are), please allow me to say in advance I’m sorry. 

Now stop staring at my leg.

Jul 26 2010
8 Comments
Family, Health & Exercise, Lemons, Marriage, Me, Myself and I, My Boys, Parenting

(Not) Holding Out For A Hero

A few *cough* of you have noticed I’ve been AWOL from the world of social media recently. (Katie, I’m glad you don’t have to look up what this means anymore.) See, as it ends up, I may be willing to tell the world about my problems but I’m not so into sharing those of others. In vaguely general terms, someone who is close to me has been going through a trying time medically speaking and I have been doing what I can for my family to be there, both physically and emotionally and frankly, it’s been draining. (Many, many thanks to those of you who have been around to help out, both IRL and virtually.)

Though the past month has been a bit rough, it’s also demonstrated yet again why I am absolutely, 100 percently, with all of my heart devoted to Scoot, my very own super hero. People who know us see him as an introvert and me as an extrovert and think we get along because opposites attract. What they don’t realize is all the weird ways we’re alike as well. One of those is in how we deal with hardship.

See, we both become slightly obsessive…and during this last month that’s played out by us painting and decorating the upper floor of our house. It’s bizarre sounding, I’m sure, but bottom line is that painting into the weeeeeeeee hours of the morn’ allowed us to spend time having some difficult, but important, conversations.

We took this time to paint our bedroom (in celebration of our anniversary), Bop’s room (that we never use because he sleeps with DJ), and the playroom (which is now, 100% BOY). The theme of this room was born when DJ said he wanted it to be red. Of course we wouldn’t paint the whole room red, especially because two of the walls can be seen in our very open floor plan from our stairs, bedroom and hallway. We made a compromise: mommy got to pick the color on those two walls, DJ got his red wall and we settled on blue for final wall. With colors like that, what theme would work better than a super heroes one?

The Back Wall

(I’ve made my mom promise to sew covers for the pillows that are *supposed* to be on this couch to represent their five favorite super heroes)

The Window Wall

This is hands down my favorite part of the room, because really, what good is it to teach a young boy to admire a super hero without empowering him to become one on his own? (Vinyl lettering courtesy of It’s Written on the Wall on Etsy. It was originally designed in a rectangle shape but I was able to cut the words apart to make a single line.)

That desk holds the boys’ new netbook that I referenced in my last post. I’m planning on getting some shelves from Ikea to go over the desk to hold the workbooks that they love to do and some pens/pencils/markers. (BTW, if you’re wondering, those bodies hanging on the wall are outlines made in 2007 at DJ and Bop’s daycare…they’re a bit bigger now…heh.)

The TV Wall

We got these vinyl super heroes from Roommates Peel and Stick Decor. They were half the price of a Fathead and are a nice, thick vinyl that sticks well. (Please don’t comment on how Wolverine could really be moved up and to the left a smidge…I know…my OCD side is already obsessing about it and I’m pretty sure it will win out before day’s end.)

The Hidden Wall

My boys don’t understand that there’s a difference between Marvel and DC Comics and as a die-hard Batman fan, that breaks my heart. But, this isn’t my playroom, it’s theirs, so we tried to balance the two as much as possible. Also…you see that red wall? That was created with ONE COAT of Behr’s Primer + Paint. Seriously…we bought this because the woman working at the Home Depot paint counter lamented with us on a previous visit how much it sucks to paint a wall red (we’ve done it before…it took FOUR coats). We had her color-match the Martha Stewart Living color we had chosen (this wall is Maine Lobster, the other two are Yellow Magnolia and Azurite). One coat. That’s it. I’m still amazed.

We may have a weird way of dealing with difficult times but hey, at least our kids get a cool playroom out of it, right?

Jul 20 2010
2 Comments
Blogging

Hopped up out The Bed Turn My Swag on: My Last BlogHer ’09 Post

We’re less than a month two weeks away from a couple thousand bloggers descending on New York City for BlogHer ’10 and I thought to myself, well, it’d probably be good to reflect on BlogHer ’09. The only problem with that thought is that everyone is doing that in the form of advice posts for newbies to BlogHer ’10. Anyone who knows me knows I’m more than willing to give often unsolicited advice any day so why pretend like it’s related in any way to BlogHer?

Instead, I thought I’d address another common theme in pre- and post-BlogHer posts: SWAG. “Why are we inundated with all this stuff?” some people complained. “[sigh] I had to bring a separate bag just for the swag,” others moaned (as they stuffed those very same bags full of the stuff they were given).

Look, people are given free samples (which is, in essence,what the BlogHer-type swag mostly is) in order to increase brand recognition or introduce new products. Marketers do it because it works.

After BlogHer ’09, someone (I cannot at all recall who) sent out a tweet saying that those of us who received anything for free should thank the people who gave it to us. Now, at my day job I represent companies like the ones who sponsor BlogHer. I know they appreciate a hat-tip for their generosity. BUT, as a consumer, I also know I’m not going to throw out an endorsement of something just because someone gave it to me for free. Frankly, free crap is still crap.

HOWEVER, there were a handful of items that I was introduced to at BlogHer ’09 that a year later I’m still using. Not only that, but these companies, for no reason other than their donating items for various swag bags at BlogHer ’09, have earned a paying customer. I have no problem recognizing those products. So, without further ado, here is the BlogHer swag I’m still using:

Bounce Dryer Bar

I got this from the Expo Hall last year. It’s really simple in concept but it’s just about the greatest thing to happen to a laundry room since, well I don’t know, if you spend any time at my house know I don’t do laundry. That’s Scoot’s job. But even Scoot loved this product. First things first, though. Bop has ridiculous allergies and reacts to everything so I was concerned about using a “normal” fabric softener bar since we use all that no fragrance, dye-free detergent and dryer sheets. I talked to the Bounce representative who humored me, even if they answered zero of my questions. But I brought it home and handed it to Scoot and said, “Let me know what you think.” He loved it. First of all, it works. That matters. Secondly, it didn’t affect Bop at all. We still use the fragrance- and dye-free detergent but apparently this bar is a-ok for his sensitive skin. Thirdly, it saves money. We’re slightly obsessive about our laundry so used 2 sheets of fabric softener in our dryer. We’ve replaced this bar (which says it lasts 2 months) maybe 3 times since last July. And we do A LOT of laundry. Do the math…we spent less than $20 on fabric softener in a year whereas we were spending somewhere between $30 – $60 per year on fabric softener sheets before. Fourthly, we don’t have to think about adding fabric softener. Once you install the bar – which is easy to do – you just load your laundry and forget it. I am a HUGE fan.

Intak Hydration Bottle

I think I got this in my swag bag from the BlogHer 5K. This is a BPA-free water bottle made by Thermos. It has a nice wide opening for drinking with a tight seal. Just below the push button is a dial to track the number of bottles you’ve consumed throughout the day. This is perfect for those of us who are mathematically challenged! My kids love this bottle. We had to fight over it so much that I bought DJ one of his own (in green because mommy’s pink bottle was apparently a girl color). Which he promptly left at basketball. So he was back to stealing mine…which he then lost on his first day of soccer camp. Yesterday I bought him a new (red) one. (Mine was recovered today.) For those of you who fill up your bottle at work, another convenient feature is that in addition to its screw top that opens up nice and wide, the spout through which you drink is wide enough that you can use the water cooler at work to refill it without unscrewing anything. I’m fully expecting to purchase yet another one for Bop in the very near future.

Scotch-Brite Greener Clean Products

I’d never go so far as to call myself a tree hugger, but if given the option between buying something bad for the environment vs. something better than bad for the environment with all else (including price) being equal, well I’m not a total asshole. That’s why I appreciated Scotch-Brite supplying their entire line of Greener Clean products in the Room 704 party swag bags (I’m pretty sure that’s where these were.) I’m sensitive to accusations of green-washing and Scotch-Brite isn’t free from such accusation with this line of products. However, unlike many “green” products, the Greener Clean line of products from Scotch Brite cost the same (at least at Walmart) as their regular line and I normally purchase Scotch-Brite sponges for my dishwashing needs. Though using them may not have made me an uber-environmentalist, I’d like to think I’m doing something better by using this line. Again, these products work. I’ve used them on my granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, ceramic tiles, bathtubs, and dishes. Nothing has been scratched.

eos Lip Balm

OK, so I really did ask, “What is that?” when I first saw this weird orb-shaped thing. For some reason I was envisioning it holding something like a charm or a tooth from my childhood or something. But no, even more bizarre, it was lip balm. I was skeptical if for no reason other than it’s shape. But come on…go take a look at a picture of me. I don’t exactly have Angelina Jolie lips. In fact, when I was in high school an ex-boyfriend called me a “no-lipped bitch.” In a note. Which I can almost recite by memory. But I digress. This orb-shaped lip balm works even on my non-existent lips. What I really like about it is that, unlike a number of tubular lip balms, this version didn’t seem to have that addictive quality to it. I put it on in the morning and, while it’s not greasy or heavy feeling, I don’t really need to put it on again until the next morning. And the flavor doesn’t make you feel like your lips have turned into mints or strawberry candies, rather it’s a very subtle mint flavor. In addition to the lip balm, I was also given some eos (it stands for evolution of smooth, by the way) shaving cream which I love love love. I rarely use shaving cream so I haven’t finished the bottle I got last year yet but when I do, I’ll definitely purchase eos again.

Honorable Mentions

There were a few pieces of swag that deserve a nod even if they didn’t exactly convert me to a paying customer yet. The folks who had the Disney NetPal set up were great. Honestly before BlogHer last year I had no idea what a netbook was. They walked me through the product and got me thinking about what kind of security and accessibility features I needed as my boys became interested in our computer (which they’ve really done in the past 12 months). I loved the Disney NetPal and immediately went home and told Scoot all about it. The problem is that they don’t sell it at Best Buy and I’m ridiculously loyal to them (mostly because I their 0% interest offers to buy all of my electronics). Though I didn’t end up buying the Disney NetPal, I did end up buying an Asus Eee PC which SURPRISE! is the same non-Disney branded netbook. I admit, I missed out on some really cool features but at least Asus made out.

I really loved bringing home a Mr. Potato Head for my boys. It’s a classic toy and they love the character in Toy Story movie but I really never considered buying one.

I got a couple of reusable shopping bags from Blue Avocado at BlogHer last year. These bags are really nice, not like the crappy ones they have at Safeway or Walmart. I use them for everything. Shopping, lunches, bringing dog bowls and food to my parents’ house, cleaning out the car, transporting towels and swimsuits to and from camp. And they’re totally washable! I haven’t actually spent more money on reusable bags since I got these but I have been better about reusing the numerous reusable bags that I had.

Dishonorable Mention

I really hate to say this but I just have to. The Strawberry Shortcake-sponsored room at BlogHer drove me nuts. They put bags down on every chair full of stuff that I doubt any parents of two boys need. And they included in that a printed press release about their DVD? Not interested. Not only that, but they restocked the chairs between panels even though the panels were all within the mommyblogging track. So not only did I have one girly bag to get rid of, I had to get rid of multiples. I appreciate everything that the sponsoring companies do to keep the cost of BlogHer down for attendees but if I were consulting with a client, there is no way I’d ever recommend they drop swag on every chair of a room for multiple sessions of the same track. *steps off my soap box*

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