Life Behind the Curve

Dear Patience,

I miss you. No, truly, I do. I miss the warmth of your long held embrace. The calm that you exude when you’re around. The rational thoughts you put into my mind. I miss you more than you know.

I have respected you for a long time, looked up to you. I have tried to walk your walk. “Good things come to those who wait,” I say to myself and others with frequency. I have long been a fan of the tortoise. “Slow and steady wins the race.” I know your value.

But Bop, Patience. He’s killing me. I know it’s a phase. I know I let D go through the same I-can’t-possibly-live-without-my-mommy-so-I-must-cry-whenever-she-wants-to-leave-me-because-my-world-will-end-without-her phase. I know he deserves you. But, Patience, I feel like you’re pushing me away with a brute force I haven’t felt in a while.

And he’s not the only one testing our relationship. D, dude. D is giving you a run for your money too. He is awesome at night when both Scoot and I are around. But in the mornings… Gah! It’s like he knows you’re at your rarest and yet still tries to find you somewhere within me by pushing every possible button I have. Unfortunately for us all, he fails as you so often seem to have deserted me.

There are other ways you’re testing me, Patience. Many, many other ways: at work, at home, in my family, with my friends, in my community, even the dogs are working my last nerve. Sometimes I feel like others are so intent on proving that you and I are, in fact, not on speaking terms that they do whatever they can to drive us apart.

I can’t live this way, Patience. I mean, come on, your name graces the title of one of my favorite songs of all time. I need you. Yeah, Yeah, I need you. Oooo I need you. Oh, sorry…got a little carried away there.

One of my favorite (Swedish, BTW) proverbs says, “Those who wish to sing always find a song.” I hope that’s true, Patience. Because I miss you. I want to sing your song. I must find it. I have to.

Come back to me, Patience. Please.

Love,

EmmieJ