Life Behind the Curve

It’s been a while since I wrote about our car theft fiasco. I didn’t want to dwell on it, bore people, or give out any information that could jeopardize the criminal case. A few weeks ago, the young man who was arrested while driving our car pled guilty and was sentenced to three years in state prison.

This week we received a letter from the District Attorney asking for our accounting of the financial toll that his theft has caused. The judge will take these amounts into consideration at his restitution hearing later this month.

I have never been the victim of a crime so I’m unsure of how/whether restitution works. But I have to admit to being a bit frustrated about having to, once again, spend my time on this. Am I ever actually going to get any of this money? Should I bother wasting my time? According to the American Heritage Dictionary, restitution is, “The act of restoring to the rightful owner something that has been taken away, lost, or surrendered.” Does it really matter if I fill out these forms, as there is no way to appropriately account for the real impact the theft had on our family?

All of this has got me thinking about the people I know, online and off, who have been victimized in ways I cannot even fathom. My heart breaks for them and what they’ve been through. I get enraged when I think of the fact that, regardless of whether you’re an eye-for-an-eye type or a bleeding heart, no justice system can ever get rid of the feelings that come along with being the victim of a crime.

Rather than ruminate in my frustration (yes, I totally learned that word from Aladdin, so what?), I think the best way to honor crime victims, as well as our criminal justice system, is to maximize the rights afforded to me under state law. I suppose the good news is that I already have to submit most of these receipts to Allstate, who has promised to reimburse us for a good chunk of the out-of-pocket costs we’ve incurred, and if they do, they’ll chase after the court-ordered restitution instead of us. Way to pass the buck, right?

To be quite frank, I’m kind of over this whole thing. I’m over thinking about this guy and what he did or didn’t do to/in our car. I’m over feeling guilty that a 19 year-old kid is messing up his life, as if I had anything to do with his stupid decisions. I’m over my son asking me whether he’s in jail and when he’s going to get out. I’m over the fact that I gained weight and spent more than I could afford while eating out because I was too distracted to cook at home. I’m over the fact that the one thing that might really make me feel better is to know he feels bad about what he did and that it’s highly likely that it’ll never happen.

Tomorrow I’m going to fill out the restitution forms and then I.am.over.it.